You don’t have to go far to spot somebody who doesn’t identify with a Harry Potter. Even Dylan Moran’s portrayal of the boy who lives under the stairs/ The Wizard who Lived /Harry Fuckin’ Potter may on the surface, seem out of place but fabulously compliments the cast of characters in the contemporary zombie rom-com, Shaun of the Dead. No one knows why he’s adopted this role, however no one is complaining as critics have hailed Moran as ‘an emotional tour-de-force and an all round good egg’.
However in order for a Potter to be at his Potteriest, there lies an anti-hero. The loveable Severus Snape.
Let’s quickly revise Snape; A loveable rouge (a scallywag if you will). Beautiful in every way, The Snape is introduced to the Potterworld in in the third Harry Potter novel - Harry Potter and the Heavily Over Priced Faberge Egg - as a plot devise to scam the young wizard into giving over his credit card details so that he can buy himself twenty Lambert and Butler and some tequila shots, so he can woo the seductive Professor McGonigall between the sheets. Even upon reading, his opening gambit is met with such gravity and power you are momentarily forced to put the book down for a couple of hours so you are able to accept the true chivalry and charm of the Slytherin head of house (The line is, of course ‘Hey baby, you must be into Quiddich, cos’ I’m gonna mow the grass on your pitch.’).
From here on out, his character continues to grow and grow, taking you on a breath taking journey of emotions. Who can forget that time when Snape walked into his office, forgot why he was there then left taking his frustration out on a Vodafone call centre staff? Or when he ate his only offspring, just to prove a point about leaving the tap running when brushing ones teeth?
However, this is not Severus’ first claim to the big screen. Remember Monday, 14th June 1994’s episode of Grange Hill (That’s right. The one H.P. Lovecraft guest wrote)? This was Snape’s first speaking role. Clearly this is his first hint of secondary school based theatre in which he was being bullied for his lunch money, you can make out him mutter under his breath ‘Aveda kedavra, motherfucker!’, before launching into a hurricane of magic based vengeance, rendering his victim a shrivelled corpse hanging inside out from the Grange Hill science block.
Severeus Snape, is one of literature’s hero’s and is commonly discussed on national syllabus’s… syllabuses… syllabi’s… in schools across the globe. He is said to have been the inspiration to Bryan Cranston’s voice acting work in Power Rangers as ‘Snizard’ within it’s first season. C’mon, this guy is a freaking badass. Next time you are with drink, raise your glass to this guy and remember his name. Severus Snape.
Confectionary rating: Perfectly chilled king size Twix with a glass of milk.
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